


Illusions

by reptilianraven



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-10
Updated: 2013-02-10
Packaged: 2017-11-28 20:20:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/678512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reptilianraven/pseuds/reptilianraven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jade Harley is a girl alone on an island. There isn’t any game, there aren’t teleporting dogs or grey skinned aliens. There is just a lonely girl who grows up too fast because she can’t do anything else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Illusions

**Author's Note:**

> i was feeling angsty so like any sane person, i took my feelings then i slapped it onto a fictional character

When it gets too much she lies down and hugs herself. She pulls her arms close to herself and she tries to ignore the deafening silence that always follows her around.

Her name is Jade Harley and she doesn’t care about her age because she already feels old.

She is fourteen.

At first she didn’t notice anything wrong. 

She was happy. She had four amazing friends, three of which were only seen through a computer screen. The colorful text on her monitor never ceased to make her happy, conversations and words carried out emotion and she never felt alone. When she wasn’t on her computer she was out in the fields playing with Bec. Running around like the kid she was with the wind in her hair and her laughter in her ears.

She was a girl built from happiness and laughs and she saw the world from the glassy eyes of an innocent child.

The world is a cruel place though. The world changes people, and a lonely girl on an island is no exception.

It first started subtly, like most things do.

Her friends talk about family and about school and wonders why she doesn’t experience any of that. Her friends talk about other people and other things and she wonders why she doesn’t see any of that. Her friends tell her that her island isn’t the entire world and for some reason that scares her more than anything else.

She sits by the cliff side and she looks at the ocean that used to comfort her. 

Now that she knows it’s is actually trapping her, the ocean doesn’t seem so nice anymore.

But it’s okay, she thinks. She still has friends and her laughter hasn’t faded yet.

One day she wakes up and Bec isn’t moving.

She stopped laughing.

The purple text on her screen tells her that in dog years, Bec was actually very old.

She buries Bec near her house and she builds a proper grave and everything. She doesn’t say anything though, she doesn’t say a word because she knows that nobody will be listening.

She would always talk to herself when Bec was with her and she would tell herself that Bec was listening. In actuality, he was her last illusion. The last illusion she told herself so that she wouldn’t feel as lonely as she knew she would. She didn’t talk to herself anymore because that would mean coming to terms with the fact that nobody will reply.

She stops herself before she can say anything out loud, she looks around and she thinks that her white walls look at her judgmentally. 

She wanted to tell her friends, she wanted to be sad then comforted.

She wasn’t allowed to be sad though, at least not in front of her friends.

Because she was Jade Harley. She was built from happiness and laughter, she was built from green colored smiley emoticons and exclamation points. She is the happy one, she isn’t allowed to be sad.

But she wants to break down and have her friends tell her that it was going to be okay because it wasn’t. She has already accepted the fact that it will never be okay but she wants to be lied to. She wants to drown in another illusion.

When she sleeps she dreams.

She dreams that she meets her friends and they play a game. She dreams that Bec is alive and that he can teleport. She dreams about aliens and more friends. Everything is so fun and happy because she isn’t alone and--

She wakes up in a hurry, all smiles and excitement. She calls for Bec but then she realizes that she isn’t dreaming anymore. The warmth of the dream leaves her colder than she has ever felt before.

She looks at the corner of the room where Bec would have been and she sees nothing because he is six feet under the ground rotting away.

She turns to her computer screen and she sees her reflection on its glossy surface and she reminds herself that her friends are miles away.

She looks at herself on the monitor and she doesn’t see much. 

The white walls of her room and the harsh sunlight coming from her window are the only things keeping her company. She imagines that the sound of the wind outside is talking to her but she stops herself because nobody is here.

I’m alone, she tells herself.

And she says it out loud.


End file.
